When you reach -or pass- your thirties, it seems that those times are long gone when making a new friend was a matter of asking “Do you want to be my friend?” From the age of 25, adult life overwhelms us with its schedules, responsibilities and duties and our group of friends begins to drastically reduce. At least, this is what a study from the University of Oxford affirms, which ensures that between the ages of 25 and 30 we begin to lose our friends and it is increasingly difficult for us to make new contacts. Is it mission impossible to make new friends after 30? It is difficult, but a little less with these keys.
Why do we lose friends after the age of 30?
According to the aforementioned Oxford study, up to the age of 25, people participate in a very favorable social environment to establish new friendship relationships: the university, residence halls, an Erasmus, shared flats… They are all contexts in which people of the same age, with the same interests and in the same stage of life, they get together and spend many hours together. It’s very easy to make friends on an Erasmus, for example, because we meet other people who are also university students, who also live outside their country, who are in the stage of living adventures… and that helps to connect.
In addition, until that age, we have something that we do not get back until retirement: time. In general, at this stage that goes between 18 and 25, we don’t usually have great responsibilities: we study instead of working, there is no house to pay for, our parents help us financially and with the housework. There are always exceptions, but the normal thing is that we have more time to go out, to meet new people or to cultivate the friendships we already have.
And time is important, according to a study from the University of Kansas this is the number of hours it takes two people to become friends:
- 75 hours of interaction to be considered casual friends
- 223 hours to be good friends
- And 773 to move to the category of best friends
The researchers also discovered that women lose friendships faster than men because they begin to have responsibilities earlier, but by age 40, men have fewer friendships than women. According to the study, this could be due to women having fewer friends, but closer ones and making more efforts to care for them.
Keys to make friends after 30
Learn to be receptive with people
After thirty, friends can come from anywhere. That neighbor we always run into when shopping, the nice young man who brings the dog down at the same time as us, that brother-in-law who -against all odds- we like. Any of the people we come across could become our friend. That is why it is important to be friendly and display all our social skills when we start a conversation with someone. We must learn to be receptive and say yes to the plans that are offered to us.
Sign up for group activities
It is one of the best ways to make friends after 30 or 40 because in this type of activity many people who come alone and with the same interests come together. You can opt for the group activity that you like the most, whether it is physical, such as going to group classes in the gym, or more cultural, such as looking for a group that visits museums in your city once a month. On the internet there are countless groups for hiking, painting, hiking, sports… You just have to find the one you like the most.
If you dare, a good option is also to travel alone on an organized tour. You get to know a new country while sharing time with people who can become new contacts.
Search among your coworkers
Adults spend more than a third of their lives at work, which means that the people with whom they share the most things are their co-workers. That means that it can be a good place for friendship to arise. Try to relate to your classmates, be nice to them and take advantage of lunch to share things about yourself. On the other hand, avoid creating bad vibes or criticizing your colleagues.
Digital friends
Just as we can have a crush on a new partner on Tinder, we can make a match with a new friend through any social network. But, if this is not enough, there are also specific applications to meet people without any type of romantic interest. Some examples in USA are MeetUp, Bumble, Fever or Paltalk.
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